Grief is a Shadow

Grief is a that the high-noon light of living hides for a brief moment. It's there...waiting. And when the bright light of daily joys and stressors starts to dim — those long workdays, daily chores, runs to the store, doctor visits, long walks, bill payments, family dinners, and endless Uno games — it grows from the corners of the space and spreads. It's a shadow that envelops you completely until only the competing darkness of sleep takes it away. Even then, Grief may intrude upon the dream -- condensing ephemeral longing and sadness into stains on your pillowcase. The Shadow may start to fade, but as Peter Pan learned the hard way, you need your shadow. Grief is needed. It may grow and wane with each new loss until sometimes you doubt that you'll ever feel covered in light again, but it exists because you loved. I've sat with this Shadow many times..this Grief. It will not feel quite as dark as time passes. I'll embrace my sadness when the light fade

What to watch?

Storytime. We have a Netflix subscription. We also have cable television. To this day, I get overwhelmed at the access I have to movies and shows I can watch whenever I want. I don't feel it every time, but I felt it just now when opening up Netflix to watch while I work, so I decided to evaluate the feeling and share a bit.  We didn't have cable growing up. There were years we lived in places with no television reception in the age when bunny ears, and in our case, coat hanger ears adorned most television sets. Long before digital receivers. In those days, my parents had VHS tapes of Betty Boop and Popeye. When we moved to the city, we got CBS, ABC, PBS, and Univision that played telenovelas. NBC was usually grainy. I was one of those kids that waited every year to watch The Wizard of Oz on CBS. If you missed it, that was it -- you had to wait. We also had to wait until Saturday to watch cartoons.  There was also the fact that I loved reading far more than I liked television.

On telling kids about Santa Claus:

I've always hated outwardly lying to anyone. I feel like 1) I'm not good at it, 2) it's not a healthy habit to get into, and 3) when you are caught in white to major lies, you have to rebuild trust. I'm not saying I've never lied, merely that it's a trait I try not to foster and one I find awful in other humans who practice lying regularly. For this reason, I never told the boys their gifts were from Santa Claus, and I never said he was real or fake. My response would go something like this, "There are a lot of people who believe in Santa Claus, and there are a lot of people who don't. I would love to believe that Santa Claus was real, but I don't know." Replace Santa Claus with ghosts, deities, aliens, etc, and you pretty much have my answer on these types of questions. There is a very good reason I answered like this. All children will interact with other adults that don't know their level of belief in these things. If I said, "No

Pssst . . We can still see your real names!

Charlotte Proudman, a barrister in human rights law and feminist legal activist ( Pittman, 2015 ), is facing backlash over her public shaming of a man who complimented her looks in response to a connection request on LinkedIn.  She posted screen shots of his compliments on her looks to Twitter and invited public comment.  This brought to mind a post I wrote on September 19, 2014,  Pssst . . . We can see your real names on LinkedIn comments!  regarding some of the unprofessional and shocking comments posted by professionals on LinkedIn articles.  LinkedIn is not anonymous and everything we comment, write, message, or post is attached to our name. Personally, I would not have reacted as she reacted. At the very least, I would have redacted his personal information from the screen shots of his message.  But that doesn't mean she is wrong. She was very brave and willing to accept the consequences of her actions. My post, while not as brave, hopefully helps further the discussion.

Pssst . . . We can see your real names on LinkedIn comments!

Blurred lines between social media and journalism Articles regarding  online bullying  (of all age groups) are commonplace; stories about restaurant receipts posted to Twitter (showing tips and lack thereof, religious judgments, or kind benefactors gifting hundreds) seem to happen every  week ; and  iCloud /  Instagram  /  Facebook  /  smart phone  hacking stories share equal billing with declarations of military action and Ebola outbreaks. Underlying this daily saturation of similar stories is social media. Social media provides a never-ending supply of shocking, touching, and thought-provoking fodder. But as these stories spread, it also provides a venue to torment unwilling and unsuspecting victims instantaneously and anonymously. (Conversely, it also makes praising heroes that much  easier .) Simply, if the right person reads, retweets or shares a seemingly innocuous receipt, a regional story can spread like wildfire on traditional and online publications. We have also se

LinkedIn Recommendations: Not just for job seekers! Part I

In my last post, I shared how My Career Grew with LinkedIn . In this next post, learn when to request recommendations from colleagues and employers to use on LinkedIn – and more. Many of you have been in this position: you've made it past your first interview, and you've wowed your prospective employer (or hope you did). Then you get a phone call: you’re informed that they’ll be checking your employment history and references. After respectfully asking what the next steps are (and jumping up and down in excitement), you start calling your former employers and personal references to give them a heads up that someone from Amazing Company will call them. This is the worst possible time to ask for a recommendation. For many, it will turn out fine, but if you haven’t interacted with your previous employers in a while, or that former coworker has moved on to another company, or perhaps your reference didn't know you as well as you think they did, you may be sabotaging yo

#BringBackOurGirls, Child Brides, and Reflection

On April 14, 2014, Boko Haram took credit for the kidnapping of over 200 school-age girls from the town of Chibok, Nigeria. Women who have escaped Boko Haram’s troops in the past claim that women are sold as wives for leaders, for resources, as servants, and to serve as sex slaves. Boko Haram has threatened to sell the girls kidnapped from Chibok as child brides Social Media Since that day in April, I have been following the updates. Disappointingly, more girls have been kidnapped and an entire community was ransacked and people murdered by the same group. I have also watched the social media storm that these events have caused. The hashtag #BringBackOurGirls and the resurgence of #RealMenDontBuyGirls have been used by individuals and celebrities around the world to bring attention to the plight of these kidnapped girls. It’s inspiring and has kept this topic on the forefront of the global community – and rightfully so. In no small part to the constant media attention given