Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Jobs & Rugrats - Wednesday, September 18, 2002

It feels like I am starting my first day of school again. My clothes are all neatly laid out for tomorrow. There are butterflies in my stomach, and I sorely want my interviewers to like me. It all depends on me, and that pressure has always been hard to take. I want to give a good impression. I will try to be friendly, yet professional. If I can just get my mind and body to cooperate. I am having images of myself saying something stupid, or being unable to speak. *shakes head*

Now that the being employed full-time is in the picture again, I am saddened. These past few weeks with my children have been wonderful. They have bonded with me in a way that I hadn't felt in months. When I would go to work every day, I would see their affection for their caregiver, and feel envy and longing for their complete love and adoration. I hated leaving them, but now that I know them even more and have seen all the new things that they have learned, leaving them now will be like tearing off a limb.

My youngest son Eleazar was the most indifferent of my two boys. He was so close to my mother that he would turn to her for his needs. So if he were hungry, he would seek her out, if he was sleepy, he would look for her arms. It cut so deep when he turned away from me. But now he runs to me, and even gives me little kisses. He has learned to give me a high-five like my eldest son, Micael. I can't help crying now. It hurts so much.

Seeing them interact together was amazing as well. Amidst my worrying about their sibling rivalry, my little boys had become best friends. They chase each other, mimic each others voices, and they can't take a nap or go to sleep without the other. They have even started making plans. My eldest son grabs a box or his potty and helps my youngest son look out the window. Its like watching an episode of the Rug Rats. *smiles* As I laid them in bed tonight, and they snuggled close together, my heart filled with such a beautiful love. I may call them brats sometimes, even boogers, but they are as vital to me as breath.


*sigh*


So tomorrow I go and present myself to my prospective employers. It will be bittersweet if I get the job.



---Later that day ----



YAY! WOOP! I got an interview.

I called all the temp agencies where I had given my resume and application and asked them if they had any updates. They had just sent in my resume to a location that wanted someone full time from 11am-7pm. They took ten minutes to call the agency back and they want me to interview tomorrow. WOOP! I am so happy. Wish me luck, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee. I need this job.

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