Saturday, November 30, 2002

Saturday, November 30, 2002


Its 4:45 am and my brilliant ass thought she could pop into the shower and pop out, and then prepare breakfast for the hoard. (husband, husband's brother, his two kids, and our two kids) I started shaving my legs and thought if I press down a little harder I won't have to go back over again. All is fine, and I do my shin and I proceed to take off a whole strip of skin. I feel a slight sting and I look down and my leg is covered in blood. When I calmed down enough to check it out, I had a three inch, red oozy strip of no-skin.

It hurts. *frowns* Not an auspicious start to this day.

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Financial Planning

Its funny how when one is starving, all one's thoughts are consumed by food. Its amazing how when one finally obtains food, it looses its appeal. Every day that I didn't have something to eat, I would think of all the things I would make if I just had a piece of chicken, or if I just had a box of noodles. We were living on rice and water. Then my husband got paid and I was able to buy food and pay off some bills. So much relief, now I am just not hungry. I guess my stomach has shrunk a bit.

This time I set aside 60 dollars. That 60 dollars will be used if we run out of milk, diapers, food, or something important. Next check, I want it to be 120 dollars, and so on, so that we can grow a savings account and never have to go hungry again. Its not fair to my children. I made deals with my credit card companies and made payments. I should have my debt removed in 5 years. Now I am looking to the future. My two sons are going to want to go to college, and they will need cars, and then a retirement fund for my husband and I. I am looking into investment information. Its kind of fun. *smiles*

This is what I have figured out so far. I don't want to go into the stock market as I am not aware of the current trends, and its foolish to put everything in something so volitile. I will start with a simple savings account. As soon as I have $1000. I will open a CD account. Certificate of Deposit. I will place it in there for 5 years. Currently, the apy (annual percent yield) is 5.03% at the bank I am using. ( I will search around for better ones, later.) I will keep money in the regular savings account for emergencies, and holidays, etc. After 5 years of continually investing in the CD, I will close it and open a money market account, hopefully with $10,000. I have only studied my options for about two weeks, but I feel that once I start investing, I should go for mutual funds. A mutual fund is an account with many stock in the portfolio. At any one time, the individual stock may be going up or down, but since there is so much variety in the portfolio, the idea is that the majority of the stock will be going up, therebye yielding more money.

All the money makes the IRS (Internal Revenue Service: the guys and gals that make sure us American working folks pay our taxes and all that good stuff) hounds circle, so I plan to open IRA (Individual Retirement Accounts) and EIRA (Educational IRA) for my husband, me, and my children. It lets me have mutual funds and savings in the IRA and EIRA's, all tax free. They stay tax free until its time to take out the money.

So, I have an idea in my head of what I am going to do. All I have to do is save that first $1000.

Thursday, November 21, 2002

Requesting One Muse ...Thursday, November 21, 2002

Sitting at my desk, I sift my thoughts through a sieve. My mind is sometimes paralyzed by the whiteness of a computer screen and the space to be filled. I feel and see life, emotion, and history happening everyday and I am scared that my talent falls short of expressing it. I read what others write, and I read books and I doubt myself. I doubt my ability. This is the last thing I have. My writing is the last facet of my personality that is still mine and not marked or intruded upon by outside forces.

I had found my best friend the moment I learned to read. I craved books more than I craved food. More than I craved for sunlight, or for running amongst other children. While some parents were trying to get their children to stop watching television, my mother was forcing me to watch television so I would stop reading. She even went as far as to hide books from me as punishment. Fictional characters were my friends, my beau's, my arch enemies, my travel agents, and my lovers. And I wanted to give to the world, everything that books gave to me. I wanted to be able to set to paper a masterpiece that would make someone cry, and make them have a change of perspective. Now, I think that I am just dreaming.

How to organize the jumble of words that vibrate in my head?

There is so much beauty in the written word, and such a large expanse and room for growth. Words can paint pictures and create moods and destroy souls. It has been my greatest pleasure to create stories and poetry. It has also been my greatest defeat. I fear not finding the right word or the right sentence to express what I feel. I have always wanted this, and yet, it seems like I have done everything to make it not happen. Every story I have started gets set aside and eventually discarded, and my poetry needs revision, and I let them fade away on paper, untouched. I see other people writing and I think, 'how do they do it? How can they sit and get it all out?'

What does this all lead to? I feel like my mind is rotting and that I am vegetating. I don't desire to write like I once did.

Requesting one muse. Even if its the runtiest muse in all musedom.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Bushisms - Tuesday, November 12, 2002

After a meeting with French diplomats, George W,. Bush was asked about the problems with the French economy, and replied, "The problem with the French is that they don't have any word for entrepreneur in their language." The New Yorker

*hangs head in shame*

If you don't know whats wrong with that paragraph, and why its so embarrassing, then send me an e-mail and I will berate you for free.