Showing posts from 2012

Happy Birthday, Micael!

OBSERVATION: Twelve years ago, I gave birth to the first human being that I ever loved unequivocally, unabashedly, without baggage or obligation. Micael taught me that love does not have to hurt. He is too old for his age, intelligent, smart ass, cynic, comedian, and a secret cuddler. He's slow to smile, but when he does, it's one of the most beautiful smiles I know. His trials and errors have made me worry, but I would not give them up for anything. I'm proud he gets to lead his brothers and step brothers. It's a heavy load sometimes, but he's up to the challenge. ♥ Happy birthday to my Micael.  

Forgotten Gems

Balboa Park, January 2011 San Francisco, February 2011 San Francisco, February 2011  Copyright ©2012 by Vanessa Hahn.

Sunrise: Corner of Trask & Magnolia

Copyright ©2012 by Vanessa Hahn. 

Gender Roles & A Brother's Love

I have characterized myself as a girly girl.  I like smelling nice, wearing a little bit of makeup before I go out, wearing skirts and dresses, and hosiery and heels.  But I'm also a geek who loves designing and coding websites, reading science fiction books, comic books, artificial intelligence, true crime novels, and Battlestar Gallactica. I don't have an obsession with shoes, purses, or shopping, but I do love maps . My husband loves fixing mechanical things (helicopters, cars, etc.), playing first-person shooter RPGs, motorcycles, guns, and P90X.  But he also loves art, drawing, yoga, 3D animation, fussing with his hair, cooking (his food eclipses the variety and tastiness of my own), and is very nurturing. I love being a woman, and I know he loves being a man. But we both like things that don't necessarily fit the gender roles prescribed by society. Perhaps my desire to appear attractive is a biological instinct to attract a mate. Perhaps my definition

This is love...

I just wanted to preserve this message my husband Jarrod left me on Facebook yesterday -- a particularly bad day. "In this one, brief glimmer of existence where we find ourselves ever so temporarily, I choose to love you. Because you are everything that is right with humanity. That's honestly not hyperbole.  You are responsible, compassionate, intelligent, and infinitely patient. When I am with you, my pessimism subsides, and I feel hopeful that one day, perhaps long after we've passed on, that most of the human race will be as rational, compassionate, and loving as you are.  I am in love with you, Vanessa! Everyday, just by being your sweet, beautiful self, you inspire me to become a better man. And I want to share the rest of my life with you.  ...I'm so glad I married you. :)" Here was my sacchrine response: "Oh wow. Every second you prove to be the best man I've ever known. I love you so much. I really needed this right now. How do y

Political Bystander

Last Night's GOP Debate Was Like Bad 1950's-Style Science-Fiction This piece was brilliantly written. Just yesterday I had to stop myself from reading articles regarding the Republican presidential candidates so I could complete a project. My public declaration read: DECLARATION: While articles abound regarding the Republican presidential candidates, I shall not be distracted by their comedic value, sheer lunacy, nor their repugnant views. I have a proposal to finish and these things must wait! I must resist my urge to click on the news websites. Closing Facebook down until this afternoon. *game face*  I'm beginning to think my reaction to the debates, video clips, opinion pieces and articles following the republican candidates would fall under the "bystander effect." I can't help these people see reason nor save them from their myopia. Am I watching as a spectator while these candidates eviscerate themselves for my own amusement? Are they my own poli

Sisters . . .

The drive was long, the cranky children plentiful, but I got to see my sisters Violeta and Lis in the Central Coast yesterday! Raymond , Verena, Lorena, and Lenthonio are such good nieces and nephews. I'm lucky! AND I finally got to see baby Ananalie! She's gorgeous and so alert! We went to Guadalupe Beach that's just breathtaking this time of year, we went to see my Uncles and Aunts in Santa Maria, then Chuck E Cheese's, various drives around the central coast, a night at the Motel 6, and much more. Jarrod Hahn enjoyed being Tio Jarrod. *smiles* Best of all, we found a malnourished dachshund wandering the street. Poor thing is skin and bones, has a crooked front paw that we need to get checked out, and some fresh scars on his side and bite marks on his head. He almost got hit twice by a car before we picked him up. We took him home and we're going to see if he's chipped when we take him to the vet. If he's not, we're keeping him! We've named him

Paula Deen & Diabetes

I think it's awful that Paula Deen has known for three years that she had diabetes and never once told her viewers. The types of foods she cooks with all the fat, butter, lard, cream, etc. is not the way a person with diabetes should eat. It was her food that led to the weight that led to her Type-2 Diabetes. As long as your body is still producing insulin, Type-2 diabetes can be "resolved." When I was diagnosed with Type-2 diabetes in 2004, my morning blood sugar was 210 (that's bad by-the-by). I was put on three drugs: metformin, avandia, and Byetta (synthetic gila monster saliva!). Shortly thereafter, I changed my diet, stopped buying flour tortillas, stopped drinking sodas, and sweets. I lost weight, and I've been at a normal blood sugar (no pills) since 2008. I was overweight then, but as you all know, I'm still working on it. I never want to go back to injecting myself with Byetta or testing my blood sugar on my fingers at work before lunch. When

Cartography Pornography - January 15, 2012

Cartography:  car·tog·ra·phy /kärˈtägrəfē/ Noun:    The science or practice of drawing maps. Synonyms: mapping I, Vanessa Hahn, am a cartophile.   Old World Map in my Entryway I love maps! Maps are intriguing, beguiling, and sexy.  My collection of maps is hung on the walls of my office and at home.  While older maps are my passion, finely crafted modern maps still make me irrationally happy. This passion I have for maps has extended to personalized checks with an old world map motif, journal covers, atlases, and a small collection of globes.  The great thing is that my love for maps is shared by many people . There are museums ( 1 ) that cater to people of my ilk.  National Geographic has a neat online application where you can create your own custom maps . My fascination with maps started when I was a little girl.  My mother married my stepdad Bill.  He didn’t like to stay in the same place for very long.  He is like that to this day.  We moved around a lot du

New Beginnings

I haven't posted anything in a long time. I stopped writing blog posts after I wrote Grandma Jewell's funeral program.  It seems I didn't have much to give.  From the outside in, she was my step grandmother.   She opened her home and her heart to this little curly haired imp when my mother met my step dad Bill when I was two years old.  I didn't get to know her until I was an adult, but she came to mean so much to me.   She advised me when I was going through my divorce. She insisted I deserved better. She lent me money when I felt I had no where to go.  I worked hard not to break her trust.  In 2008, I moved in with her and my Aunt Tina.  I lived with her for more than a year and a half before she passed away.  She told me so many stories about growing up and her views on thing. Her life was a great adventure. She passed away at the height of my struggle with back pain.  I wasn't there when she needed me.  My visits were infrequent. I had two herniated discs,

Ethnicity & Identity

I grew up not knowing my father.  I knew his name, I knew that my parents divorced when I was a baby, and I knew that he was a very bad man. My mother did not like talking about my father.  If she ever mentioned my father, it was to alternate between saying how stupid she was for being in love with him and sometimes doubting that he did the bad things he did -- even though she saw it with her own eyes.  Both my brother, who shares my father's first name, and I were painful reminders of my father. I often felt that I sickened my mother.  My mother and I were RH incompatible. I was born severely anemic and shortly after I was born, my father was flown to Fresno, CA to give me a blood transfusion.  As a result of our incompatibility, her breast milk made me sick. My childhood was dotted with comments from my mother regarding my blood.  "You have more of your father's blood" and "you're the only baby I didn't breast feed."  Knowing what a bad man my